Saturday, September 28, 2013

The freedom to say "NO!" as much as you want....

So when Vika first came home she was physically able to do things that a 7 year old could do....dress herself, eat with utensils, go up and down stairs but she was a 15 month old emotionally.
This blurb i found in an article totally describes where she was at...

New this month: Pay attention to meeeee!

Whirlwind. It's a word that aptly describes a typical 15-month-old, and life with a toddler this age is never dull. His attention is equally divided between his toys and you. Children thrive on their parents' attention, and if you happen to leave the area where he's playing, he'll come looking for you within a few minutes because he wants to know that you're paying attention to him. "See! See!" is probably a common refrain in your house as your child tries to balance his drive to be more independent with his need to know he can depend on you.

Until now, your toddler has been preoccupied with checking out his surroundings and the objects in his world. Now he's just as curious about the effects of his behavior on other people, and his connection with you is vital to his confidence. During this period of social exploration you may see him trying to get your attention anyway he can. He'll shout, imitate gestures he sees you and other adults making, pinch, poke, shove, whine, and cry, all in an attempt to see how you react, and what it takes for him to get what he wants. He will quickly realize that various behaviors get different results from the adults who surround him. He may learn that he gets what he wants faster if he laughs instead of whines. Or that whining will get him what he wants from his grandfather, but not from his mom or dad. This experimentation is all part of socialization, and if you are consistent with enforcing limits, he'll soon learn which behaviors are acceptable and which aren't.
She was also throwing tantrums ALL the time. Well after 6 MONTHS home she has moved onto the TWO's but i want to call them the wonderful 2's. Why? Because she is growing and developing!!! 

I found this little blurb online about where she is now....It made me laugh that the other mother who was asking about the repeated no's was also named Amanda.

My two-year-old daughter overly uses the word "no" like most toddlers her age, I assume. Are there any real strategies to getting her not to use the word so frequently?
From: Amanda, Dracut

Hi Amanda,
"No" is one of the easiest words to learn, so that's one reason it comes so early. It's also a word that gets lots of reaction from adults, which is another reason why it's a word that gets repeated....and repeated....and repeated. So the first way to ratchet down how much she says no is to monitor your reaction to it: if you start off responding calmly and then work yourself up, that's actually very exciting to a toddler. You're unwittingly providing reinforcement.
Here are a few ways to think about her "No."
"No" is also a sign of healthy development. She's becoming independent , recognizing that she is not an extension of you, and exerting her will. As much as it's a pain in the neck to deal with, you certainly want this to happen!
Much of the time when a toddler says no, especially in the beginning, she doesn't mean "no"as a word of defiance, she's just vocalizing. But because we react to it as if she really means what we take it to mean, she sees it as a way to get attention and control. She's at a stage of development where she's trying to learn how and when and why and where she has control over her environment, and she's learning about cause and effect. There's lots going on! So, for instance, sometimes when she repeats no!, she's experimenting with cause and effect: If say "NO," look what mom does! If I say "NO!" again, does she do the same thing again? What about this time?
When you can see that her no is not so much defiance (you can tell by how much emotion there is behind it) as exploratory ("Do I really have to do this? Does mom really mean it?), try to interpret what else it could mean: "Oh, you're telling me you want to play with this doll."

So in a nutshell, Vika is growing she is exerting her will and I am amazed at her progress!!! in six months she has grown, and it also means she is going forward from her 15 months she should now be at 21 she is right on track!!! She has learned to suck from a straw and she is starting to use more words and sentences....she sings in the car when she thinks no one is listening. She is also starting to lose teeth!!! When she firs tcame home she was wearing size 4/5 and they were too big on her. She now wears a 6x! WE love Vika so much and THANK GOD that he picked her for us everyday!!!

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